fatass

I feel ashamed. Dirty. I literally feel my heart hurting in my chest. Someone told me you were using me for sex and I refused to believe him - at the same time, is it a crime if, right know, you need to let go some frustration and I need someone to hold me and make love? I'm listening to sad songs and it feels pathetic - mostly because you're the one that sent these to me and I thought there was a link between us and the lyrics. Is it somebody else, or is it just the fact that we both truly need to take our time? You know I drool like a fucking schoolgirl every time I see your face, that I can't stop looking at pictures of your abs thinking those pants are lower than they are. You know I'd screen that shot if you'd send one, you know I ask too much questions; I wish you never knew about my problems and maybe then you'd love me, at least that's what the psychiatrist said, my feelings are stuck in my throat like the tears in my eyes - bitch you have what you wanted and you still complain, what the fuck does it take else for you to be simply happy? The craziest fantasies in my head will happen and I still cry and panic - what a fucking waste of air! What do you want, fucking hoe? You expect him to come at you with flowers and then make you sleep at his home? Better be fucking kidding right now! We're in 2017, I think your mom showed you too many Princess Movies cause you seem to believe in every fucking one of them! You're a hole, nothing more, too bad you added a w and thought you could be a whole for someone - turn that l around make it a r for the whore you are, what do you think you will be? You seem to like getting used... Why do I keep thinking he could still love me a little? He CAN'T, he's the football player in movies and you couldn't even be the worse of the fat nerds that obsesses over boy bands! I know I shouldn't beat down on myself but I can't help but think it's the truth............. Keep crying bitch, what will you do when he'll grin to see you once he came? HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU can't you fucking understand? You're a fuck buddy, a squeaky toy for dogs that they chew a few minutes and never pick back afterwards, do you really think he'll call you back for watching Netflix or some shit? Don't know how colorful you're dreaming but damn! No feelings attached... no feelings, remember dumb bitch? Oh wait, you're way too stupid not to get attached! Anyway, you'll never be the kind of girl he'll show his mother and that will make grin his father a smile, thinner and prettier maybe, less broken probably, if you lived near maybe, not like you are.Keep your big mouth shut, for god's sake. Throw your phone over the fucking bridge if you need to but stop bothering him while HE, younger than you, is soon hitting university. Anyway you think he'd love you for your vagina? 3,5 billion other girls have the same fucking organ, bitch. Y'have to be pretty dumb thinking he won't laugh as soon as you will take down your pants, because every time you did they told you something was wrong, yeah go ahead cry every tear left in your fucking nonexistent soul, go then complain about how pity you deserve you fucking waste, why don't you take a shitload of medication and just swallow it?